Parenting Coordination
What is Parenting Coordination?
Parenting Coordination (sometimes called Parent Coordination) is a process for whānau who are separated or divorced in Aotearoa New Zealand. It helps you and the other parent or carer manage ongoing disagreements about parenting.
It is not about rewriting your parenting plan or court orders. It is about making those plans work better in real life.
A Parenting Coordinator is a qualified professional who supports both parents. They help with communication, suggest solutions when you disagree, and coach you to make decisions in the best interest of your tamariki.
The goal is to reduce stress, ease conflict, and protect your children’s and family’s wellbeing.
Why use Parenting Coordination?
You might think you have sorted things out. But many parents find that legal orders or parenting plans do not stop disagreements altogether. Conflict often comes in the small things: changeover times, holiday plans, schooling decisions, or day-to-day choices.
Parenting Coordination offers help with exactly those pain points. Here are some common reasons parents choose this service:
Handle disagreements
A Parenting Coordinator can help resolve conflicts about logistics, communication, temporary changes to parenting time, and appointments without going back to court
Lower stress and legal fees
If you’ve already paid a lawyer, the last thing you want is more legal fees.
You can avoid this and court delays by working through conflict more constructively
Protecting kids
It’s not divorce that harms children, but parental conflict. Fighting or tension affects kids’ emotional health, schooling and relationships. This process helps reduce conflict
Better coparenting skills
Over time, you and the other parent/carer can build better communication and decision-making habits, and conflict tools with the help of your Parenting Coordinator
Interpret your orders
Many arguments between parents come from unclear or ambiguous parenting orders. Your Parenting Coordinator helps clarify what your orders mean, reducing disputes
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How does Parenting Coordination work?
Your Pathway to Positive Parenting
Intake and assessment
Each parent meets the Parenting Coordinator to share concerns, goals, and any court orders or parenting plans. We check that the process is safe and suitable for your whānau.
Engagement agreement
You, the other parent/carer, and the Parenting Coordinator sign an agreement about how sessions will run, how costs are shared, and how outcomes are recorded.
Regular sessions
Regular video meeetings, sometimes together, sometimes separately. The Parenting Coordinator helps you work through new issues, improve communication, and keep agreements on track.
Decision support and follow up
When disputes arise, the Parenting Coordinator explains what your orders or plan means in real life, suggests options, and helps you reach agreement.
Written outcomes and review
Agreements are noted in writing so everyone is clear. Past decisions can be reviewed if something is not working for your tamariki.
Transition toward independence
As conflict reduces, you will rely less on the Parenting Coordinator. The aim is a pathway to positive parenting: calm, confident coparenting (or parallel parenting) that supports your family as your children grow.
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Is Parenting Coordination right for your whānau?
Is Parenting Coordination right for your whānau?
Parenting Coordination works best for separated parents who want practical, structured support to reduce conflict and put children first.
Works well when
- You already have a parenting plan or court order in place
- Disagreements arise over how to apply or interpret that plan
- You and the other parent want to avoid going back to court
- Both parents are open to guided, respectful communication
- You want a structured process that protects tamariki from conflict
May not suit when
- There is ongoing or serious family violence
- There is a mental incapacity or serious substance abuse issue
- There is a lack of access to reliable internet
- A parent refuses to cooperate or engage in the process
- Safety or wellbeing of tamariki would be at risk
Wondering if Parenting Coordination is right for you?
Common questions about Parenting Coordination
What is a Parenting Coordinator?
How does Parenting Coordination work?
Is Parenting Coordination confidential?
How much does Parenting Coordination cost?
Will the Parenting Coordinator make decisions for us?
How often do parents meet with a Parenting Coordinator?
Can Parenting Coordination be done online?
What if the other parent does not cooperate?
How long does Parenting Coordination usually last?
How is Parenting Coordination different from mediation?
Mediation is usually a short-term process to reach an agreement. Parenting Coordination provides ongoing support to help parents apply agreements and court orders in daily life, and to keep communication calm over time. For more detail, see our blog: Parenting Coordination vs mediation.
How do I become a Parenting Coordinator in Aotearoa New Zealand?
You will need appropriate professional background and experience, complete PCNZ’s New Zealand-specific training, meet supervision and CPD requirements, and follow PCNZ practice standards to become a parenting coordinator and join our directory. See How to become a Parenting Coordinator.
Can my Parenting Coordinator speak with my children?
What qualifications does a Parenting Coordinator have?
Parenting Coordinators typically come from law, psychology, social work, or mediation backgrounds, and complete specialist training with supervision and ongoing CPD. PCNZ provides New Zealand-specific training adapted to local families and practice. See training and certification
What are the benefits of Parenting Coordination for children?
Lower conflict, clearer communication, and practical problem solving support emotional safety for tamariki. Many children feel calmer and more secure when parents model respectful cooperation. Read examples in our case studies: “Do you and Dad not hate each other anymore?” and The hill between parents.
Insights into Parenting Coordination
What to do when your ex isn’t following the parenting orders
It can feel deeply frustrating when the other parent does not follow the parenting orders. You might have worked hard to reach those agreements, or been through a court process that took months (or even years). When the other parent does not follow what was decided,...
Resetting routines after the holidays in two homes
The long summer break can be a welcome pause for families. There is more flexibility, later nights, fewer alarms, and a chance to step away from the usual routines. But when February arrives, many separated parents notice a familiar challenge: getting children back into everyday rhythms across two households.
Introducing new partners in a child-centred way
Introducing a new partner after separation can be one of the most sensitive moments for a family. Even when a relationship feels settled and positive for the adult, children often experience a mix of curiosity, worry, loyalty conflicts, and uncertainty.
Discover the Benefits of Parenting Coordination
Parenting Coordination can transform your coparenting journey, creating a harmonious and stable environment for your children.
Get in touch to learn more about how our services can support your family’s unique needs.